Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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