...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
