We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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