i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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