I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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