lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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