Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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