11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
