Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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