If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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