Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
