one two three fourrrrnication!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My vagina just clenched in fear
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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