When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
