Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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