I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
