About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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