the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My liver just broke up with me...
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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