my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
