he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
