how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
please come you make the beer taste better
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
