i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
