Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
