So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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