My room smells like vodka and shame
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
