I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
