new low.... made out with someone while peeing
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
