Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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