garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
