dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
