i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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