I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
