i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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