i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
