I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
