I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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