If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
