Nicole vs. Life
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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