Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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