take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
