Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
