Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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