as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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