i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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