I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
