so explain again why im purple
no
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
