hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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