Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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