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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
