Banned from zoo.
Again?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
