I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
