hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
