Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
