may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
