carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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